- 1) Apple Gifting (only apples); National Bloody Mary; National First Foot; National Thank God it's Monday (after such a long holiday week...nah); Ring a Bell; Z Day
- 2) 55 MPH Speed Limit; Run Up the Flagpole and See if Anyone Salutes (pointless and dangerous); National Cream Puff
- 3) Drinking Straw; Festival of Sleep (just on the day that everyone is returning to work? riight); Fruitcake Toss (like they'll biodegrade?!); Humiliation; Memento Mori
- 4) Dimpled Chad (this day is getting ever more dated); Free Flower Basket; National Can-Do; National Trivia; Tom Thumb
- 6) Apple Tree; Dry Beans; National Take Down the Christmas Tree (yep it's about time); National Take a Poet to Lunch (that assumes that most people know a poet to take to lunch); National Cuddle Up
- 7) Distaff; I'm Not Going to Take it Anymore; National Bobblehead; National Tempura; Old Rock
- 8) National Clean Your Desk; National Snuggle a Chicken (chickens are hardly amenable to such thing); National JoyGerm; National Man Watchers
- 9) Balloon Ascension; National WONK; National Shop for Travel (what if you're not traveling this year?); National Word Nerd; Play God (you really shouldn't); Poetry at Work (what if you work in STEM?)
- 10) National Bittersweet Chocolate; National Oyster Rockefeller; Peculiar People (As the Doors say "People are strange.")
- 11) Learn Your Name in Morse Code (Apparently mine is .--. .- -- . .-.. .-) ; National Step in a Puddle and Splash Your Friends (Are you kidding? The water's freezing!); No Longer New Years Day (Are you that dense?); Secret Pal
- 12) National Curried Chicken; National Kettleball; National Marzipan; Quitters; National Hot Tea
- 13) Make Your Dreams Come True; National Rubber Ducky; National Vision Board (Well a vision board could help make dreams come true); Poetry Break (What is it about January and Poetry?); National Sticker
- 14) Take a Missionary to Lunch (Again assuming one knows a missionary; but it's a kind gesture.); National Dress Up Your Pet (Now depending on the costume...no); National Hot Pastrami Sandwich; National Kite
- 15) Brew Monday; National Boot; National Fresh Squeezed Juice; National Pothole (the salt hasn't done it yet); National Strawberry Ice Cream
- 16) Appreciate a Dragon (a fictional beast? Where are we, Westeros?); International Hot and Spicy Food; National Fig Newton; National Good Teen; Printing Ink; National Nothing (wha)
- 17) Ditch New Year's Resolutions (Yep, it's about time.); National Lose the Jet Lag (shouldn't that have been cleared up days ago); National Hot Buttered Rum; National Bootleggers; Popeye; National Hot Heads Chili
- 18) National Gourmet Coffee; National Peking Duck; National Thesaurus
- 19) Brew a Potion (more appropriate in October); Good Memory; Gun Appreciation; Tenderness Toward Existence; National Tin Can; International Fetish
- 20) Use Your Gift Card (so you don't forget it's there); Take a Walk Outdoors (but it's freezing!!!); International Day of Acceptance; Camcorder; Cheese Lovers; Soup Swap
- 21) Conscious Uncoupling (a flaky day created by a flaky person); Hug Your Puppy (I hope you do this every day); Sweatpants; Cheesy Socks; One-Liners; Playdate; World Snow
- 22) Come in from the Cold (Now that's more logical); Dance of the Seven Veils; Answer Your Cat's Question (Wait...cats can talk?); Polka Dot
- 23) Measure Your Feet; Snowplow Mailbox Hockey (why); Speak Up and Succeed; International Sticky Toffee Pudding; National King
- 24) Change a Pet's Laugh; National "Just Do It," National Beer Can Appreciation; Talk Like a Grizzled Prospector (again, why); Belly Laugh
- 25) Clashing Clothes; National Fish Taco; Observe the Weather; National Irish Coffee
- 26) National Big Wig; National Fun at Work; National Green Juice; Toad Hollow Day of Encouragement
- 27) National Chocolate Cake; National Seed Swap; Punch the Clock; Thomas Crapper (yes, that's why they name the commode that! and I learned this from a British Viscount...Really!)
- 28) National Bible Sunday; Thank a Plug-in-Developer; National Kazoo; National Blueberry Pancake; National Lego
- 29) Curmudgeons; Freethinkers; Carnation; Bubble Wrap Appreciation; National Corn Chip; National Puzzle;
- 30) Draw a Dinosaur; Inane Answering Machine Message (I do that everyday. I'm horrible at leaving messages.); Yodel for Your Neighbor (What if you don't know how to?); Plan for Vacation (First you buy for vacation then plan for it. Aren't you putting the cart before the horse?)
- 31) Appreciate Your Social Security Check; Eat Brussels Sprouts; Gorilla Suit; Hell is Freezing Over (Everything is freezing over.); Hug an Economist; Inspire Your Heart with Art; Scotch Tape; Backward
Month: Apple and Apricot; Artichoke and Asparagus (All of these not typically associated with the dead of winter.); Bread Machine Baking; California Dried Plum Digestive/ Prune Breakfast; Dry January; National Be-On-Purpose (wouldn't you be); International Change Your Stars; International Wealth Mentality; National Hot Tea; Learn to Ski and Snowboard; National Black Diamond; National Book Blitz; National Clean Up Your Computer; National Mail Order Gardening; National Sunday Supper; National Thank You; National Wheat Bread; National Meat; Rising Star; Self Love; Tubers and Dried Fruit; Veganuary; Ginuary
Week: National Silent Record (to be quiet?); Someday We'll Laugh About This (I hope); Show and Tell; National Mocktail; National Pizza; Meat; Hunt for Happiness; Kiss a Shark; National Fresh Squeezed Juice; Farmhouse Breakfast; No Name Calling